Heavies and Juniors

2007-04-28T18:35:00.000-07:00

Should you live long enough you will find that the world is filled with two kinds of people: heavies and juniors. What are you?

1. Heavies act. Juniors arrange.
2. Heavies beat juniors at everything except charades.
3. Heavies control. Juniors conform.
4. Heavies dine with friends while juniors have working lunches with accounts.
5. Juniors deceive heavies. Heavies deceive themselves.
6. When a heavy administrative assistant dictates, junior executives copy.
7. Juniors love to dance. Heavies know how to dance.
8. Heavies eat juniors. Juniors eat humble pie.
9. When heavies enter juniors exit.
10. Juniors are grunts. Heavies are artillary.
11. Heavies hunt. Juniors hide.
12. Heavies spend less. Juniors save less.
13. Heavies manage. Juniors manipulate.
14. Juniors march in front of small groups of seated heavies.
15. Juniors mimic heavies. Heavies mimic only other heavies.
16. Juniors understand "no". Heavies fail to comprehend "no".
17. Heavies operate juniors who are organizers.
18. Juniors pray to heavies. Heavies pray to God.
19. Juniors pay when heavies refuse to pay.
20. Heavies get support from juniors with support issues.
21. Heavies tell. Juniors re-tell.
22. Where juniors tread lightly heavies trample.
23. Heavies use juniors who use other juniors.
24. Heavies watch and wait while juniors wait and watch the time.
25. Heavies demand zero defects from imperfect juniors.
26. Juniors compromise to close a deal. Heavies compromise to deal the cards.
27. Heavies command while walking about. Juniors make demands from a desk-like pillory.
28. Juniors aggravate heavies as the moon creates tides.
29. Illiterate heavies make millions with the brains of well educated, underpaid juniors.
30. A junior's wife will respect a heavy. A heavy's wife can sympathize with a junior.
31. A heavy listens first then speaks. A junior speaks without listening.
32. A heavy can wade through a marsh quicker than a junior can cross the bridge.
33. A heavy thinks first then commands a junior to speak. What a junior says is thoughtless.
34. A heavy plays with toys while juniors toy with their own lives.
35. Heavies soften. Juniors harden.
36. A heavy's name or work is his identity. A junior's title is his identity.
37. A heavy gives much to the spouse and little to the children. A junior gives much to the children and little to the spouse.
38. A junior will extract a thorn from the paw of a heavy and then step on it by accident.
39. All matadors are heavies. Juniors are bull.
40. An impressive blue suit on a junior is like blue water in the commode of a heavy.
41. Heavies are honest in their humility. Juniors are hypocritical in their greatness.
42. Heavies discipline themselves more than their children. Juniors discipline their children more than themselves.
43. Heavies hunt wild boars in forests. Juniors hunt alligator shirts in bargain basements.
44. Heavies cry sour grapes. Juniors are made to eat crow.
45. Heavies tend toward the simple. Juniors tend toward the complex.
46. In the strength of a heavy mercy may be shown. In the weakness of a junior only criticism and condemnation and may be expected.
47. Juniors give advise freely. Heavies are paid large sums for it.
48. Juniors are infatuated with power. Heavies lust in it.
49. Heavies win civil tort as though they were military battles. Juniors are afraid to fight.
50. A heavy will pay for your dinner instead of your product. A junior will buy both your product and your dinner.
51. Juniors dress for success. Heavies dress for comfort.
52. Heavies and juniors are vanity and striving after wind.
53. Juniors are a means to an end. Heavies are the end.